Muffins!
I know your Holidays have been desolate without your favorite d-list blogger, but my brain pretty much went on fucking strike immediately following finals. It left a little note saying "I QUIT YOU" and went to Cabo, leaving me with no choice but to sit around for days eating Sun Chips and watching reruns of the Beijing Olympics ceremonies. I think we should just basically declare the end of Olympic Ceremonies because China pretty much owned the world with that one. Not even KANYE I'M BETTER THAN ELVIS WEST could top that shit.
Now that me and The Brain are having relations once more, it is time for our most favorite tradition N00B YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!!!
Resolution 1: Hermitage will become more of a Teacher's Pet
figure 1: Accurate representation of how Hermitage will work it for an A. Scandalous! Threshold for completion: Ask for no more than 3 extensions on one project in a semester. INSANE OVERACHIEVER, I am it.
Resolution 2: Hermitage will go on her first date this year. Skandalös!!!!
figure 2: Hermitage will make the goo goo eyes in the name of love I am only doing this resolution because I am seriously THIS CLOSE to shanking the next shacked up friend who says "have you even gone on a DATE yet?" I'm a gamer, we dont' date! We have cyber sex with our avatars and die alone with lvl 80 Death Knights, duuuh!
Threshold for completion: Enduring an entire date without making some convenient excuse to go play Aion Online.
Resolution 3: Hermitage will do Awesome Science
figure 3: Gilman, Rodbell, and Lewis won the 1994 Nobel prize for their discovery of G-proteins, the sexiest part of signal transduction pathways. Yea, I said it!
Threshold for Completion: A minimum of 1 paper of at least 2nd Authorship. Papers from undergrad don't count! Escandalo!!
Resolution 4: Hermitage will be less negative about herself
figure 4: Hermitage will be a happier, perkier person in 2009 even if it breaks her soul. This might assist in Hermitage Resolution 1 regarding working it for an A This will be a hard one, muffins. If an Erlenmeyer breaks in my vicinity, it's my fault, if my RNA is contaminated, I must have sneezed, if my experiments don't work it's because I have bad hands-THIS IS A WELL-HONED NEGATIVITY MACHINE DON'T YOU SEE THAT!!! I am only willing to admit I Shut It Down immediately following a paper submission or effusive praise from a Crotchety PI. However one of my co-workers called me a Dementor last week and while I think that's pretty badass, I don't think it was meant in a positive way.
figure 5: Hermitage does not see how being called this could be anything but a Compliment of the Highest OrderI thought about making a resolution to 'game less' but then my edition of Street Fighter, my laptop, my pillow, my Wii, and my gaming mouse started laughing their asses off. Chun Li said we should make a resolution for her to get slimmer thighs. MEANIES!
So what are YOUR New Year's Resolutions, muffins? Hermitage will return to read them after her New Year's Hangover has passed. She is eating loooooots of ice cream at home to celebrate a new year in her Tundra Hermit Cave.
7 comments:
I love the dementor comment and this Science Bear would also find this an unusual but welcome compliment. Somehow being a graduate student seems to give one the ability to suck every ounce of happiness from one's own surroundings, though of course I cannot speak for Ms Hermitage.
Having named my internet connection after the house in which both myself and I assume the astute Hermitage would both be placed in-- I love what this term references.
All the best in the new year my fellow eccentric, though still excessively awesome, cave dweller! I believe this Bear will soon be posting a list of new years resolutions of her own!
I know right! The only thing that could make me squee harder is to be called Bellatrix. Non-hermits just don't understand us!
I await eagerly your New Year's resolutions! I'm sure they will be most epic in nature.
Hermitage will make the goo goo eyes in the name of love
I am only doing this resolution because I am seriously THIS CLOSE to shanking the next shacked up friend who says "have you even gone on a DATE yet?"
Dudette, you and me both!!111!!! All last year I heard: "This is ridiculous, Juniper. It's time for you to get a boyfriend." I agreed to a paltry handful of "dates" in 2008, and then only with men I tried desperately to feel attraction to-- "remember, Juniper, the guys you've creamed your panties for without trying were jerkfucking douchelosers . . ." Dull, dull, dull. Introversion, introversion, introversion.
And here I was thinking that my willingness to make public the fact that I'm a twenty-eight-year-old virgin who has yet to have a boyfriend would COMPLETELY OBLITERATE my number of blog hits! Well. It probably did. But that won't happen to you.
I'm a gamer, we dont' date! We have cyber sex with our avatars and die alone with lvl 80 Death Knights
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAWTFLOL!
@Juniper: Well obvs we are meant to be BFFs and have sleepovers and singalongs! And I possibly should not have eaten so much ice cream because that sounds like a REALLY FABULOUS IDEA right now!
I only relish the idea of having a boyfriend just so I can traumatize him by announcing: No I Have Not Done That, Or That Either, Yes Virgin Really Means Virgin, and Ew That's Not Body Cavity X Was Built to Do! I'm basically a terrible person, probably.
I don't make New Year's resolutions, it's a sucky time of year to try and do more exercise or whatever. I've switched to Spring Equinox resolutions instead, and it works much better!
@VWXYNot: Ha! But New Year's Resolutions are MADE to be broken! You see my diabolical plan there? Bwahahahahaha.
hahahaha...ive been missing WoW a lot lately (farce, tanaris, firestone templar...) i used to play a lot and have thought about going back...(i was at my prime last year this time....sniff sniff) but damnnnn my fiance HATES the game. Otherwise i would totally date a DK. I also have a hard time with new years ressies. especially cause this years would be to work out more like ~90%+ people this year.....ew mainstream.
HAPPY NEW YEAR HERMITAGE!!
Post a Comment