Muffins, the Time Has Come!
Oh so long ago (it's on page 2! That's my pageview grave yard, *sob), I declared my intention to lie prostrate on the ground and beg various female professor bloggers to volunteer to answer questions about being a woman in academia.
With the Explicit Rule that there will be no talking of baby-having/rearing/napping/snuggles (wails and lamentations I know!). Various awesome individuals have answered the call, and here I reveal the illustrious panel:
Master of Instability: Gerty-Z
Bushwhacker of the Academic Jungle: GMP
Domestic and Laboratory Goddess: Dr. Isis
Ex-National lab badass turned Professor: Prodigal Academic
The Domina of Dorito Dust: Professor-In-Training
They have consented to answer four questions about how to be a Rockstar Academic. I am opening my blog (and email) from now until next Wednesday (11/24) to the blogger community to suggest questions that will be submitted the panel. I will sift through the questions and select the 4 to be discussed (so send all your angry emails to me if you question doesn't get picked). So put your scrivener caps on and come up with some awesome questions for me to take credit for, for us to discuss!
Just remember, if you ask a question that contains the word 'babies' or 'motherhood'...
Figure 1: Hermitage gone find you, she gone find you
37 comments:
How to detect people most prone to sexism *before* deciding to work for them?
Haha - am I the only wimminz on the panel who actually has 100% fewer babies!?
what's the super secret voodoo dance to make my ______________(insert experiment here) work?
lol!
As a young woman (current grad) who enjoys baking, knitting, sewing, skirts, long hair, pink, high heels, and other things girlie and domestic, how much do I need to tailor my lab or professional persona, i.e., how much of a hit do I take for revealing my girlie side to my current boss, or in the future, my colleagues?
How do you ask for (and get) constructive feedback without people thinking you're insecure and looking for a meaningless pep talk. For example, after giving a talk, I often get generic "good presentation" comments, but blank stares when I ask if there's anything I could improve upon.
I'm not so egotistical that I think the talk was perfect, but how can I improve if no one will tell me what I'm doing that could use improvement!
@PiT: You do seem to be the only one legitimately 100% baby free. AKA YOU'RE MY IDOL, I LURVES UUUUUU
How do you deal with female health issues (heavy periods and period pain that lasts for a week, heavy migraines that strike suddenly, etc.), when you are in a predominantely male environment? In situations like: 1) you can not tell anyone what is actually wrong with you, because everyone squirms and takes as TMI when you mention any problems that you have, 2) problems hit unexpectedly in the middle of a committee or other important meeting with you as the only woman, where you can not walk out in that particular moment to use the bathroom or take the pills or say you'll be back in half hour because at this particular moment you can't see anyone due to migraine aura, because you are expected to do some important task or give a presentation in a few minutes, 3) same as 2, but in a classroom full of male students.
Not all questions related to being female in science, although most of them related sideways, I asked around in my female colleague group I lunched with today:
*also curious about how far you should let your feminine side go (although probably the answer is: "be yourself", which I find the most boooring answer ever...).
*bonding with colleagues, when is TMI TMI? Female colleagues know a lot about the other private lives/they share a lot. Is it better to keep everything to yourself (such as sick parents, dating issues), or share?
*when should you shut up about academic thoughts, when should you share? How can you judge the chances of being scooped by the person you talk to?
*are courses/meetings/socials specifically aimed at women (in science/higher educated etc etc) useful to go to, can it be a disadvantage to never show your face there?
*being helpful: how far should you go before people either see you as a person they can abuse or see you as the mother of the group
What is the best response when someone tells you that you won something "just because you're a girl"?
What are strategies for recruiting female graduate students to a research group?
What is a good escape/dignity-saving strategy when you're in lab or a professional situation and you know you're about to cry (if you cry)?
How did gender affect your career decisions (e.g. which job offers you accepted), if it did?
How do you get (respectful) attention in a meeting full of type-A men?
Thanks for setting this up, Hermitage!
How do you not get stuck with all the crappy late afternoon / evening /week-end chores because, you know, since you have no family to take care of, you have no important things to do with your evenings /week-ends. And thus can spend them picking the slack from others.
The women I've in life met seem to be more prone to brooding over various issues, such as interpersonal matters and impostor syndrome, than men. How have you learned to cope with worry and just go with the flow?
Nice panel idea, thanks for setting it up, Hermitage.
My two-part question is:
1) How do you deal with young men in your class who have made it their mission in life to challenge you, constantly, at every opportunity?
2) How do you deal with that One D00d in the audience after your talk who has made it his mission in life to humiliate you in front of 200 of your peers? You know the guy - question after question which has the underlying tone of, "Wow, your research is so horrible and so are you, ha ha ha."
How do you deal with the fact that women (especially early in career) are inherently a "broader impact" in proposals but men reading the proposals (reviewers, panel) may think that we took jobs from them and other such silly things, and thus don't like it when we are saying we are a broader impact?
Any tips or ideas for blending into all male discussions? I frequently find myself in somewhat structured/formal conversations and as the only woman it seems that every comment sticks out more than I would prefer.
How do you make your voice heard without being labeled as too pushy/bitchy/aggressive?
So tough to choose a question for such an awesome (if rare) opportunity. I'd like to add my thanks to Hermitage for the AWESOME *BayBee free* opportunity!!! :)
I would say I'd like to know how to balance "assertiveness" and "bitchiness" - in the sense that it's harder as a female (than a male) to "get away with" being protective of your time, stating your opinion, and so forth.
I'm sure you "find a happy medium" at some point, but I'd much rather minimize the learning curve, as they say. Or, does it never really even out? Maybe some things are more important to balance than others?
In my experience, a certain amount of bitchy is acceptable, but it's a fine, fine line...
I'm probably on the not-so-assertive end of the scale in some cases and very assertive in others, FWIW.
Here's my question:
how would you deal with an older female academic (the rare woman in a predominantly male senior faculty), who in the beginning seemed to be very nice and could turn into a potential mentor. But after a couple of months she turned out to be more and more patronising, treating you like you have no clue about anything and leaving you out of things (on purpose, it seems?), because "don't worry, she can take care of everything".
In hindsight, my impression is that she perceives the younger woman (i.e. me) as a threat, which is kind of ridiculously laughable, if you knew the details of the situation. So now I mostly just avoid her as much as possible and only keep contact when I aboslutely must because of work. But I am sure that's not the best way to deal with it. I am also quite sure that I am not the only one in such situation. So I guess my question boils down to this:
how to deal with senior academic women who don't support younger academic women?
What *flavour* of Dorito were you offered?
MyQ: What to say to my female boss when she comments on my figure (specifically how skinny I am).
I am a childless twenty-something and she has three kids, a full time tenure track AND runs the company I work for. She is fucking amazing and I love her, but I don't know how to deal with her complaints about her weight/comments about mine. There is fine line I cannot find: where I am a humble yet sympathetic friend, a deferring minion and a feminist.
How do I deal with the assumption that because I am the junior, not-yet-TT partner in a two-body scientific couple, that I am not serious about potential jobs that require us to move? As in, "Oh, you must be looking for something in this area (implying exclusively )." And that somehow, people perceive me as the lesser scientist, even though part of the reason I'm stuck here is because people seem to believe I'm not serious about moving! How do I break this self-reinforcing situation?
More on topic, what would you like to see from us not-yet-tenure-track menfolk? How can we pitch in?
My husband and I started in a PhD program together at the same time. However, everyone assumes that he's a post-doc and I'm a masters student (we both already have masters degrees). And everyone assumes that I'm going to follow him around.
In reality, we're at equal points in our careers but I'm more determined to stay in science than he is so it's probably more likely that he'll follow me.
Do you have any suggestions as to how to get people to consider us equals rather than viewing me as "little wifey"
AMAZING Hermitage! So many cool questions already!
Lately I've wondered how many of the wimminz in academia actively chose to be in academia or if it just "happened" because you were in the right time and the right place? So, does it pay off to plan your career, or should you just create chances as you go?
Is there any woman out there who currently holds a position that was in any way set up or advertised to increase the numnber of women in academia, and how does that feel? Someone else asked a more or less similar question, do you feel you're there because you're a woman or because you're good, or both?
Same as Anon @ 1:54pm. I was in exactly the same situation for many years, and endured many such remarks from faculty in his and my departments, not to mention friends and family. In my case, the problem was ultimately solved when my husband and I both left. At the end of my postdoc we both went on the job market again and left for a school where we both got TT positions. Even until the very last moment, we had people in the department telling him: "Oh, you can't be seriously considering leaving..." and me "Why don't you take up this non-TT adjunct position" (when I actually had a TT offer from a similarly ranked school)!!
Anyways, I'd really like to know if a better solution exists too!
Thank you for this! Every time I read a book, article, go to a panel about women in scence, I feel like my life is taken over by babies I do not have! And lets not forget those who cannot have children. I feel it's insensitive, irrelevant and/or patronizing.
So many questions! But first, an answer: When someone tells you that you won/got something because you're a girl, say "Mmmhm. My vagina made my poster."
I want to know: I am about to be one of three t-t women in a large department. What should I look out for?
My partner does not yet have a job, but is looking in the same geographical area. How much responsibility do I have for getting him a job?
How do I walk that line between "entitled jerk" (everything is owed to me, because I am that awesome) and "disenfranchised jerk" (everything is owed to me because I work! harder! than! everybody! else!)? I don't want to be either category.
What about the line between confidence and arrogance? Is it even possible to make sure that what people hear is what you meant to say? To what extent should we try to predict other people's responses, and address their concerns beforehand?
I think that is all for now, but I may be back...
Alise, I think it's a bit much saying that talking about children is "irrelevant." The reason why there is so much emphasis on children is because most women (scientists or not) do want to and are eventually able to have children through birth or adoption. So it may be irrelevant to you but for a majority of women it is very relevant.
That of course does not invalidate the premise of this post, that there are many questions that have nothing to do with babies, which women face and which may not get a lot of attention in conventional panels or advice books. Great idea, Hermitage! Many excellent questions so far!
This is awesome! Great idea and some really fabulous questions. I look forward to reading some of the posts.
My question. Have you ever had to fire or discipline a student for lack of producitivity and if so how do you do it without appearing like a proverbial she-beatch.
Anonymous: I guess you missed the use of "and/or".
Heaven forbid anyone use a word that is negative (irrelevant) in the same paragraph as "baby"! We must correct her immediately.
It is irrelevant to me. What's so wrong with that? I didn't say noone should discuss babies. It's not even a negative judgment and I am talking about myself forgodssake!
As you say, women who have babies are in the majority. There are countless articles, books, websites, fora that's relevant for them. I have gone to so many women's career events and a good portion of each is about balancing children & work. I just don't go any more.
This incident is just another example of how I cannot even open my mouth about this issue without some sort of correction. This is why I usually keep it shut. Goodbye
Not really a wimminz-only question, but...
Who do you hug and when?
Is it ok to hug another colleague (say postdoc or faculty) in front of students?
Does gender matter?
How close do you have to be with the other person for it to be appropriate (advisors/advisees off limits)?
How does one answer questions about partner and sprogs at interviews? They shouldn't ask, and I don't have either, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know about policies as relates to tenure clock and benefits...
"Haha - am I the only wimminz on the panel who actually has 100% fewer babies!?"
yes, this is too bad:(
I too am sick of everything being about babies. And I LOVE babies. But men have babies too! My institution did a diversity survey and the most dramatic statistic was the drop in percentage of women from phd to postdoc level. The only solution offered- more workshops about balancing work and family.
I guess that's my question. What are the OTHER issues causing the drop in participation in science and what can we do about them?
I thought the hugging question was interesting. As someone from a demonstrative culture (both family and previous career) I find academia to be weird in this way so I advise caution, though special occasions seem okay.
Alise, I hear ya! I love kids, but I just don't want any of my own, and I'm sick of being labelled as a child-hating freak for that reason.
There are some great questions so far - +1 for the assertive / bitchy balance, if anyone's keeping count!
p.s. I'd have volunteered to join PiT as a kid-free panelist, except I'm not a professor, or even on that career path :)
These are all beautiful! Thank you SO MUCH for your pageviews...I mean, participation.
My answers? Take whatever GMP says. I say the opposite.
I kid, I kid. I'll have my answers up soon.
I have a two-part mentoring question:
I have recently seen several students in my lab go through relatively severe personal crises that negatively impacted their productivity in the lab, not to mention their physical and mental well-being. However, the things that they went through were things that I would consider very personal, like family issues you wouldn't want to air with a boss or physical/mental issues that I would consider too personal to share.
My questions are: As a student, how much information needs to be shared, and when specifics are too personal, how can students effectively express that they are going through a crisis in general terms? As an advisor, how should such student crises be handled? My current advisor was kept in the dark about many recent personal issues of these students, and now makes comments such as "student A must not be serious about their career" or "they obviously aren't cut out to be scientists". As a mentor, how much information should you demand? And when do you make the call that someone isn't "cut out for science" without knowing why they aren't being productive in the lab?
Interesting discussion here. I've left academia but I'd like to add a comment. Women in the lab were very inclined to sign up for social committees or buildings committees to orgaize e.g. Christmas party or nights out. They also did all the cooking for bbqs and general tidying after events. The men (usually higher up the ladder) did none of this. I think it is damaging to waste time on that sort of thing because it isn't actually valued in a career way. All that happens is the bosses stop paying for external caterers and cleaners. Better to organize a seminar or genuine networking opportunity, something to stick on the cv.
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